Jessica's wedding

Departing from the usual Audrey musings, I want to tell you about Jessica and Sean's wedding that Paul, Audrey and I attended last Saturday. It was held at the beautiful Triangle L Ranch in Oracle, Arizona, about an hour north of Tucson. Paul and I agreed that it was the best wedding we'd been to in some time, despite the fact that we knew almost no one there except the bride and groom.

Their wedding reminded me:

• That you don't need a lot of words to have a lot of meaning

They got married in the Quaker tradition and the marriage ceremony is silence, exchanging vows, more silence, speaking by those moved to speak, more silence, and an embrace by the couple at the end.


• That potlucks mean fabulous food if you move in the "good potluck" circles

Jessica definitely moves in the good potluck circles.


• That walking along a path illuminated only by a string of white lights is simultaneously romantic to adults and magical to babies

The Triangle L ranch hosts an annual arts event called "Glow" where they have art viewing by night. Being there at the ranch made me want to come back for that event.


• That carrot cake by committee is the best carrot cake ever

I was on the "cake team," making the icing for all the cakes, and a perk of this was getting to do the taste test a month or so back - we (the four cake bakers and I) tasted 3 carrot cakes, took notes (yes, we are grad students) and picked the best features and ingredients of each to meld into a new recipe. As Paul said "This cake is awesome."


• That Audrey loves a party

She was even dancing with one of Jessica's aunts and allowed herself to be held by another aunt for about 3 songs as Paul and I did our first swing dancing in almost a year. I was totally wearing the wrong shoes for it but it was fun.


• That sometimes staging a picture gets you a good one

Jessica and Sean were going to formally (at least semi-formally) cut the "display" cake but everyone was dancing so they just decided to cut into it and let people eat between dances. I saw them after they had cut about two pieces and said "You're not going to cut the cake? How about cutting it for me and I'll take pictures?" So they said OK and I took a picture of them "cutting" the cake they'd already cut. They didn't feed each other cake, but one of the pictures of Sean eating cake looks like Jessica just fed him a piece and it's one of my favorite pictures from the wedding!

This one is about the potty

So if you're not into reading potty stories, don't read further. To respect Audrey's privacy, no photo illustraton is available.

So as Audrey nears 9 months, there are many things she can do. Her grasping is getting better, she's still working avidly on crawling, and is considering bagging the whole thing and moving right to walking. She is strong enough to stand for a while now, and working on her stability so she can simultaneously hold onto the edge of the coffee table and pull all the magazines and coasters off of it.

But the potty - a couple of weeks ago, two moms at our mom & baby group talked about elimination communication, or EC. This is like early potty training, where you look for cues from the child, and give them "potty opportunities" or "pottytunities" as I have been calling them (I think this is what the main EC book calls them). There is no pressure to train completely, the idea is just to keep kids in touch with their bodies and save yourself a few diaper changes too. At group, both moms had kids who were just a few weeks older than Audrey, and had been doing this with them since 3 or 4 months. Both kids had small potties they could now sit on (before they can sit, you hold them over or stand them in the sink). They say EC works best if the kids wear cloth diapers, so they can tell immediately when they are wet or dirty. But Audrey is in disposable diapers, and we're probably not inclined to change this plan. Despite this, the "stay in touch with your body" message made sense to me.

So I bought a little white potty (Audrey chose this color over hot pink). I had noticed that in the morning, whenever I changed Audrey's overnight - and pee-filled - diaper, I would go to wash my hands after, and 9 times out of 10, she would have pooped in the new diaper by the time I got back. So the morning after I bought the potty, I went in to wash my hands and took Audrey with me and sat her on the potty. I washed my hands, came back and made the cuing sound (pssss) and let Audrey hang out on the potty, exploring her new surroundings for a few minutes. I finally decided she wasn't going to do anything, but when I helped her off the potty, she had pooped! First time sitting on the potty!

After that, I put her on the potty at least a few times a day, most days. Sometimes she didn't do anything, but often she did. She may less than 9 months old, but she got the idea of the potty pretty quickly. So we're nowhere near the "diaper-free baby" but I have avoided changing some poopy diapers, which is always a plus. And I like to think Audrey is becoming more aware of her body. Maybe someday soon, she'll say "pa-pa" for potty (don't worry, Paul is da-da :-) and we can go for a pottytunity on her say-so.