One wedding short?

 As many of you know, I spent almost the whole two years we were in Scotland singing with a women's singing group officially called "Women's Singing Group" but affectionately known to almost everyone as "Loadsaweeminsingin."  Over the course of my two years with them, I became a part of the singing family, and that meant I was brought along to sing at occasions that I wouldn't have been part of as a regular American expat. 

Magdalen Green from the gazebo

In the two years, I sang at three weddings and a funeral with Loadsaweemin - hence the title of this post, homage to the 1994 film that launched Hugh Grant (at least in the United States), and indeed, according to mentalfloss.com, launching the British rom-com as an American genre. 

The first wedding was for someone I did not know, but she was a community organizer in Dundee and wanted a real "community group" to sing at the wedding, so there we were.  In typical small-town Dundee fashion, although I knew neither the bride nor the groom, it turned out that I had recently met the best man at a University event, and I knew one of the (approximately 30) wedding guests from church.

The second wedding was for the son of one of the long-time group members, and it was held at the gazebo pictured above, just down the block from where we lived in Dundee. Of course we were not lucky enough to have such a clear day for the wedding - it was threatening rain, and it finally did start raining as the guests arrived.  Everyone took it in stride, though; we singers pulled out our rainbow umbrellas, and the ushers carried umbrellas in one hand and champagne in the other as they directed people to their sitting and standing spots.  After we sang our song, the groom turned to Loadsaweemin and said "I love you" - we told him we loved him too.

The third wedding was for one of the group members, held in the lovely government chambers of the city of St. Andrews.  She was marrying a man named Bill, and so in addition to our traditional wedding repertoire (The Rose), we also sang Da Do Ron Ron, which, as you may recall, has a lyric that says, "Yeah, my heart stood still. Yeah, his name was Bill..."

Finally, the funeral was for another member of the group who had been declining for a while - she went into a hospice-type facility, where we visited one Monday evening for our usual rehearsal and sang with her in the chapel.  A little while later, she passed away, and there we were.  It was January and the nondenominational chapel was quite busy - folks for the next funeral had to wait in a holding area; then when your number was called (not quite, but pretty close) you walked across the garden to the chapel for your funeral.  We waited, we walked, we listened, and we sang: an arrangement of James Taylor's "Close Your Eyes," and "Think of Me, Forget Me Not." Although I remember this as a sad song, it could go either way - sad for funerals, or happy for the togetherness of a wedding:    

Think of me, forget me not,

Remember me wherever you go.

I am yours and you are mine,

Remember me wherever you go.  

Think of me, forget me not,

Remember me wherever you go. 

 When I think of these events, where I was included as one of the "ladies from Dundee" it makes me nostalgic for this group and how much they were a part of my world in Scotland.  I guess weddings tend to do that, and funerals too, perhaps; although I've been lucky that my attendance at funerals has been more limited than my presence at weddings. 

Facebook, with all its birthday and anniversary reminders, makes me nostalgic too - though I rarely remember the exact dates of anniversaries outside my immediate family (and even then I usually have to consult a cheat-sheet for all but my own) the reminders on Facebook bring back memories of the wedding - like on this date in 2003, when I was part of the wedding of Katie and Beej - Katie's daughter Laura, now a lovely college student, was seven years old at that event - the same age Audrey is now.  I remember all the red bridesmaids dresses, Katie eating grapes in her wedding dress, and the flames on Beej's jacket...surely not his tux, that must have been the rehearsal dinner. Time flies.

One wedding short? Nah, I've had plenty. I've not sung at them all, but at each one I've played some role, and who knows, maybe in 10 or 15 years, someone will look back at a picture or reminisce about who was there and the small details they remember - a song, a red dress, a rainy afternoon, an adorable seven year old who's now all grown up, or a groom named Bill.

Jessica's wedding

Departing from the usual Audrey musings, I want to tell you about Jessica and Sean's wedding that Paul, Audrey and I attended last Saturday. It was held at the beautiful Triangle L Ranch in Oracle, Arizona, about an hour north of Tucson. Paul and I agreed that it was the best wedding we'd been to in some time, despite the fact that we knew almost no one there except the bride and groom.

Their wedding reminded me:

• That you don't need a lot of words to have a lot of meaning

They got married in the Quaker tradition and the marriage ceremony is silence, exchanging vows, more silence, speaking by those moved to speak, more silence, and an embrace by the couple at the end.


• That potlucks mean fabulous food if you move in the "good potluck" circles

Jessica definitely moves in the good potluck circles.


• That walking along a path illuminated only by a string of white lights is simultaneously romantic to adults and magical to babies

The Triangle L ranch hosts an annual arts event called "Glow" where they have art viewing by night. Being there at the ranch made me want to come back for that event.


• That carrot cake by committee is the best carrot cake ever

I was on the "cake team," making the icing for all the cakes, and a perk of this was getting to do the taste test a month or so back - we (the four cake bakers and I) tasted 3 carrot cakes, took notes (yes, we are grad students) and picked the best features and ingredients of each to meld into a new recipe. As Paul said "This cake is awesome."


• That Audrey loves a party

She was even dancing with one of Jessica's aunts and allowed herself to be held by another aunt for about 3 songs as Paul and I did our first swing dancing in almost a year. I was totally wearing the wrong shoes for it but it was fun.


• That sometimes staging a picture gets you a good one

Jessica and Sean were going to formally (at least semi-formally) cut the "display" cake but everyone was dancing so they just decided to cut into it and let people eat between dances. I saw them after they had cut about two pieces and said "You're not going to cut the cake? How about cutting it for me and I'll take pictures?" So they said OK and I took a picture of them "cutting" the cake they'd already cut. They didn't feed each other cake, but one of the pictures of Sean eating cake looks like Jessica just fed him a piece and it's one of my favorite pictures from the wedding!

Four Generations

During Audrey's first trip back East, we attended my cousin Erin's wedding. The big event for us, though (not to downplay Erin and Jamie's wedding, it was beautiful) was that Audrey got to meet her great-grandmother, Marguerite Pyles, for the first time. I was hoping Audrey would see her great-grandma and giver her one of her 1000-watt smiles, but of course, my grandma is a stranger to Audrey and she takes a while to warm up to people she doesn't know, despite being a very friendly and gregarious baby. She did get to spend a little time with her at the wedding reception, though, and was privy to some smiles, although I'm sure Audrey would have been happier in a slightly less noisy and chaotic situation. The wedding photographer took a couple of pictures of grandma holding Audrey and also one of the "four generations" (great-grandma Marguerite, grandma Mary, mom Kay and baby Audrey) with the newlyweds. We also took a few candid pictures of the four of us outside the reception location, so the best one of those is here. I'm sure Audrey won't remember her first meeting with great-grandma, but I'm sure great-grandma will remember it!